[Note: The author of this article, Garuda dasa, is a second-generation devotee, a rainbow preacher. He is not the senior Garuda dasa, who offers spiritual counseling.]

Dear assembled devotees,

I would like to share a practical way to help any sincere person become free from sex desire. I've been developing and sharing this method with great success for over 17 years. All you have to do is really want to. The rest is easy. This method is full of grace as well as personal mental/intellectual strengthening from wherever your starting point is. Please read on.

There are four aspects of sexual bad habits that we can all do without: personal/physical, mental (thinking about it), looking at others (or illicit material), and speaking about it (flirting). These habits have frightening implications to our devotional lives as well as our personal mental and physical health when they are harbored in our being as an acceptable form of enjoyment. Please try listening to this seriously. If people can rise above their sexual desires, they will feel their luster, confidence, and inner bliss increasing within themselves.

A married person can also benefit from this process. As we know, Srila Prabhupada asked us to, at bare minimum, keep sex life chaste and within marriage. However, he taught that the highest, the way devotees can keep it completely sacred, is to use married sex life only for procreation. For most of us, we must start the gradual progress towards this goal by keeping our mind, eyes, words, and deeds within the grhastha asram. Once the four kinds of sex are strictly confined within marriage, then gradually one can regulate them to the point of abstinence except for procreation.

In coming out of any especially dark place in regard to the four types of sex, first of all one has to be transparent. If we are to become transparent mediums of the Guru param-para, we have to practice and learn transparency. It doesn't matter whether one is a swami or an uninitiated beginner on the path of bhakti. To make progress, it is good to have what I call an accountability partner. That can be any devotee whom you feel you can reveal all of your thoughts to, any shortcomings you hope to rectify, or aspirations you wish to achieve on the path.

This person should preferably be a senior devotee who you feel is the most comfortable person to talk to about embarrassing matters with. With him or her, you share all these things, even steadily through life, and sometimes discuss how you are making marked progress. By being thoroughly honest and getting this person's help/blessings, you can make advance more rapidly towards Krishna's pleasure.

The other option is to hide your problems (especially the most dirty ones) in the closet, hoping that one day, after years of chanting you may get purified of the anartha (unwanted desire). This way is more difficult because in such a case, we go on pouring fuel on the fire of those secretly held desires as we hide them from others (by not talking about them). It's very purifying to the soul to have an accountability partner, and as we know, "Purity is the force."

Please note that there may be other things you wish to give up. Things like eating at karmi restaurants (that occasional pizza) and watching television and movies that do not tend toward enlightenment. There may be other small adjustments of personal choice, stuff like giving up coffee or other intoxicants, not eating too late, abstaining from refined sugar, getting a certain amount of exercise daily, etc.

Anything that your inspired intelligence says is good for devotional service is good to use in this quitting process (below) to bring these needed changes about. From my experience, however, it is good to keep things simple and start with the big root problematic thing, which we are talking about here: the four kinds of sex (speaking, thinking, looking, and doing).

Obviously, single persons and married persons have been mentioned here. But there are also those who are in the twilight zone: those thinking about getting married. So if you are single and agitated, with options open, this is good for you too. Think of it as an inner confidence builder. Being agitated sexually, acting on it in private, and looking for a spiritual partner is a counterproductive position. That is because attracting a partner requires genuine confidence. One will have a lot more confidence if one is full of luster, experiencing inner bliss, and free from the four types of sex.

The way to quit is to first choose a date around two months away. Find a holy day. It may be an appearance day of the Lord or of a pure devotee. Any special day will do. Just look at the Vaisnava calendar about two months away and see what jumps out. That is your blessed and special day. Pin that month up visibly and put a big X on that day.

For this example, since you are here reading now, we'll choose a wonderfully appropriate date: Wednesday, December 3. This is the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, and it is also Moksada Ekadasi. So, from this point on you begin to say this affirmation over and over and over: "On Wednesday, December 3, the advent day of Bhagavad Gita, I am going to give up the four kinds of sex: seeing, thinking, talking and doing."

This is the how an affirmation process of the deepest kind works: As often as you think about it, say it. Just as often, you must cry out for Krishna's mercy, so that you can receive His grace to become free. "I cannot do it by myself, Lord, please help me."

This must immediately follow your own affirmation as a jiva, and it should be cried out like a small child beseeching his or her mother.

We all know the story about the determination of the sparrow who set forth to get her eggs back from the sea. Because Garudadeva came to help in the task, it was possible. This stage in the world and in your life is a special and precarious time. Because of this, we must proceed seriously and find this determination within. If we do the affirmation hundreds of times per day, we will find our true strength and determination. When that happens, gradually our withered and atrophied intelligence will get a serious workout and be strengthened.

Also, if you pray for help with all your heart, Sri Krishna will be happy to help you during the affirmation and as you approach the promised day. The roots of these weeds in the heart have been cut back, cut back, and cut back, but not removed. Now it is time to cry out and beg Lord Sri Krishna to pull out the weeds.

This affirmation process builds up one's intelligence and works out all the tension that normally would be surrounding the struggle of quitting these things forever. Our goal is to bring our determination to such a strong point that our desire will be one with the desire of the Lord. The shower of nectar is the clearing stage that Lord Sri Krishna will grace you with on that day and that will remain with you. Expect it and be determined to experience a miracle on that day.

As you initially start the affirmation you may not feel the potency of the process, but about halfway through, the real you starts to feel it: "I am going to give up the four kinds of sex."

Then you will know something is working. Keep praying, and also think of all the important reasons behind this endeavor. Become introspective whenever possible. The intelligence needs this and will become increasingly fixed up as time goes by.

On the day you wake up, Sri Krishna will be with you, turning your old conceptions of pleasure upside down, turning that idea of happiness in this world inside out. Expect a miracle, a grand jewel. That jewel is grace coming from the smiling face of the Lord and His merciful glance. You will be free forever.

For those who are older, single, and still thinking about enjoying sex in this world, this process may clear your mind out to encourage the rest of you to desire only a renounced (vanaprashta) station in life.

At first, as you become free from these desires, maya's pull will seem almost nil. Then as time goes by, you will be dead below the belt, but the eyes may seem to be pulled to that vision, idea, talk and (hardly ever) thought of doing. At those times when the eyes (mainly it will be the eyes) are pulled towards that vision of the opposite sex, at that time one should immediately pray, "O Krishna, please bless this soul with pure devotion for You."

In this way, a constant change will be taking place. First your eyes will want to enjoy, but then you will be offering Krishna this thing that is not meant for your pleasure anyway. In this way, the mirror of the mind will be wiped with glass-cleaner each time dust tries to settle. Also, this is a great practice to increase one's compassion. Such compassion, once increased, doesn't need a supplemental push to fend maya away. It just flows naturally.

That's it in a nutshell. Please pick a day, say the affirmation millions of times, and pray very hard for deliverance. Write down this date on many pieces of paper, taping them up wherever you frequent. We cannot say the affirmation enough, nor should we minimize its great importance. This is a churning of the heart, bringing it to true reality. If the subconsciousness is not churned and this (smoldering, nasty, rascal) seed of sin is not given up for the pleasure of the Lord, we'll have to go on coveting enjoyment throughout many more lives for a very, very long time.

For those who preach and desire truly to aid Guru and Gauranga in the sankirtan mission, the pain of lust is an obvious obstacle. These are the people who will be most honest with themselves, no matter what dark hole their lust is living in. It is especially for them that I share this.

If you are kind of normal and almost desire spiritual freedom after reading this, please take up the affirmation and prayer process anyway, and see what it does. There's nothing to lose. Something good will certainly come from all that praying and churning. It is my experience that it really does work for anyone who does the affirmation and praying with all his or her heart and at all times, and this person, being fuller in the hope of reaching Krishna's pleasure, will realize that his or her lot in life is millions of times better.

May Sri Krishna bless those who read this. If anyone would like to email me and let me know that he or she is taking up this process, I'll be happy to pray for that person. Also, I hope that others will pass this around. Kali yuga is progressing. Surely Lord Sri Hari will appreciate and bless those devotees who will go an extra mile to make a difference and print this and share it with all the devotees in the temples. Please consider that there are many devotees who are stuck in dark places with all the allurements just one click away.

For those who are interested, I offer intuitive advice on spiritual matters. If there is any way I can serve you, please let me know.

Thank you for this opportunity to serve.

Much care.

Your servant,
Garuda dasa

Email:garudadasa@yahoo.com 

© dipika.org November 28, 2003